One of Many

I know it will just get tougher as we approach a move date, but knowing and actually experiencing are two different things.

I'm not an overly emotional person, but my heart received its first of what will be many moments of sadness to come.

We spoke with our relator earlier this week and made the decision that the time has come to put the house on the market. So the sign is going up today....

We are not completely funded, it's trickling in, but we still need others to join us on this journey with God. But...the timing in the market is right and ultimately we do not want to be unable to go once we are completely funded because we can't sell our house...so we are preparing for our transitional home until we set foot on Zambia.

It wasn't the idea of putting the house on the market that got me teary-eyed. We've been planning this for many months now. It's the afterwards....

Our home has always been open to anyone who wanted to just hang out. As a matter of fact, we have as many as sometimes 8 kids in our home at one time just playing. This is our life. We are a house of kids. This day was no different. The girls' friends came over to swim, just as they always do in the summer. I have the honor of playing lifeguard.

Right to Left: Alyson, Kamdyn, Kaden & Brittan

But on this day, I watched it differently. They stood on the spa and did one of the same old games they always do: "1, 2, 3 Jump" then they look to see who jumped. Of course, no one does until someone just gets too tired of standing there and jumps in. Then they all laugh. You see it enough times and you just become immune to any humor in it, but they don't.

1, 2, 3 Jump!

 I didn't find humor. I felt a great sadness and started to cry. As they sat there laughing at one another, memories flooded my mind instead.

I remember each of them not being able to or just learning to swim and now they race each other from one end to the other. 

Or just how they come up with little silly games that always seem to make no sense but their imagination running faster than they can keep up.

I think of how close Brittan, our 6-year-old and Kaden (5 years old) are; they are pretty close to inseparable. The biggest complaint of the other kids in the cul-de-sac is that they will only play with each other and no one else. I think if they could be joined at the hip, they would be. They rarely argue and Peter and I always watch them in awe about how they just function as one.

Brittan and Kaden out for an afternoon drive.

Brittan and Kaden, best buds.

Or Kamdyn and Alyson, our 7-year-old, who fight like sisters but are the best of friends. There are many arguments their mom and I have had to mediate with the two of them and they have learned to compromise, becoming closer friends each time and learning to work with others.

Brittan, Alyson and Kamdyn after Crazy Hair day at VBS

The list could go on. We've watched all our kids grow up together up to this point. We've each seen each child as babies and grow to become friends.

It hurts....After I watched all this, I went over to talk to their mom about putting these pictures up...I wanted permission of course. When I told her about the sign, we both had to not look at each other as we were beginning to tear up.

It's not that we don't want to necessarily cry, but we want to cherish each moment with happiness over the next few months.

Just the thought of not looking out my front door and seeing the kids playing together, or going over to talk to them tugs at my heart. Even mine and Stacy's (that's their mom) newest endeavor of morning coffee as I've bought a simple French Press to use in Zambia and have an 18-flavor sample of coffee packets to see if we like any. Each morning I've made the coffee, gotten her a cup and we've shared our opinions.

After almost 13 years in this house, we have to start saying good-bye. Even now I choke up writing this. I love them.

So it begins, one of many. I won't be able to blog about all of these good-byes that are coming but many more are to come.