With all this said, as we have grown with God, our lives have changed completely. When the Bible says we will become a new creation, it wasn't kidding, although shedding off the old creation–that's a process in itself. As a family, we have decided to follow God's leading to move to Zambia and serve full time with Every Orphan's Hope. Some have seen this as an irresponsible decision, but if you have been walking along with us from the beginning of this journey that started over 4 years ago, you know that this has been far from reckless. God has led us to serve at a deeper level each year in Zambia, and as we entered this portion of serving full time, it wasn't without much prayer.
Many don't know, but we actually started joking around in 2011 after Peter's first trip to Zambia that "ONE DAY" we would serve full time when the previous full-time missionaries decided to "retire." We even talked about how we would love to have a house that would be big enough to house the interns when they came to serve, as we both enjoyed mentoring them over the past two years. "One day" just showed up a little quicker than we had anticipated and the joke became a serious prayer as to whether or not we were following our timing or God's timing. We have decided to follow God's timing...which, at times, has made no sense to our family, friends and even ourselves. We still return daily to the same prayer, "God, is this still the path you want us on?" On some days when we are shedding off our old selves and tying to yield to His will, it's hard to follow this path, we find our comfort in Him, our Lord, Jesus.
Preparing is difficult. We started by preparing our hearts, which was difficult as we told family and close friends. This preparation is an ongoing process as some days it seems fine and then other days, it is met with tears through strained conversations with our oldest daughter, siblings and parents. To say that we will miss each of them immensely would be an understatement; many times no one wants to talk about the elephant in the room, but it never leaves. So slowly, we've all started facing it head on; there's no other way. The more it was tiptoed around, the more it hurt; but no matter how painful, we have tried our best to keep everyone in the loop as to what was happening in our preparation stage. I don't think our hearts will fully be prepared before we leave, but we have had some wonderful mentors in our lives that have pointed out to us time and again that God loves our family and friends more than we do, and if we believe His ways are perfect, well, He's got them covered.
Looking at our girls, that's hard too. Will they like Zambia? They are young but they have a family they have grown up with right across the street since they were born. Often, there isn't a day that goes by where they don't play together. Over the years, they have created many games from "Mermaid Adventure" in our swimming pool to the one time they took a huge cardboard box from a couch we had bought and made their own clubhouse with it. That cardboard box got much mileage and the decorator in all of them came out as they made couches, a make-believe TV and a stove top. It was a sad day when we (the parents) decided to throw it out. Thinking of our girls not growing up with them as we prepare to move brings quite a tug at our hearts. Everyone moves, we get it, and it's not the end of the world. But it's hard to prepare your hearts and the hearts of two girls of 6 and 7 who know only of life in the United States, and as a whole their lives have been predictable. They have never been in need of anything, so what does it look like for them as we leave a man-made financial security and fully rely on God to provide and move the hearts of others to join along with us. Peter and I struggle at times with that too, but here is what we do know. He has always provided us with what we need and He has given to us abundantly, so He will provide in this too.
So in preparing our hearts, where are we...well, today is a good day. The girls have started to talk about Zambia with excitement and as they have had the opportunity to meet our Zambian director, Mama Margaret, well, they just love her. This morning, Alyson woke up and asked for us to make nshima, red sauce and chicken for lunch (Zambian meal). When I told her I really couldn't do that today and I needed to get the directions again before I made it, she told me to ask Mama Margaret to come over and help. She was floored when I told her she had already returned to Zambia. Then, she was a little upset when she realized she might not get that meal again until we moved there. Brittan, well, she has such a playful heart and will just go with the flow. As for Peter and I, most days are good but the shedding process can be painful at times. So we focus on the new creation God is turning us into and try to ignore the old selves that we know will continue to creep inside and give us doubt.
We pray each of you also find peace in the Lord as He grows you into the creation He desires you to be.
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." (ESV)
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