Reflecting on 2013

The year of 2013 was a year of momentous decisions for our family.

We began that year with answering God's call to serve orphans and widows as full-time missionaries in Zambia, Africa through an organization called Every Orphan's Hope. This wasn't an out-of-the-blue decision as we had been serving in various facets of this ministry since 2010, but it was a leap of faith to depend on our Lord for every need we would have.

As I look back on this journey that we have begun, there have been some extremely exciting moments. The calling in itself sparked our adventurous spirits and at times, we found ourselves trying to outrun God's timing. But each of those moments, our Lord has either gently (or sometimes with a swift kick in the backside) put us back on His path and not our own.

The biggest lesson of 2013 for our family has been obedience. We have realized that our ways are not God's ways in very real experiences. Some of these have created extremely happy moments in our lives, while other instances have refined us to a point that were difficult to bear. Above all though we have found that God is present through each of these times.

We began our 2013 with a calling to prepare and that's exactly what we've done. Here are the highlights of our 2013:

We started that year with a new chocolate labradoodle puppy, Tobiah, and by the end of that year, we realized that Zambia wasn't the place for him. We found an amazing family who waited on us to make a decision and ultimately, he went to live with them in September 2013. We still have "visitation" times with him!

Preparation was the key to 2013 so that's what we did.

Looking through all those things that you have and no longer use is never fun. We made some decisions as to what would go with us to Zambia and what needed to bless others. We learned in that process that we are blessed well beyond what we deserve, and many of the items we had were never even used, being set aside for a special occasion that hadn't come. Looking at what you need is such a freeing experience. Lightening our load has given us a new perspective of ourselves; this lesson has been irreplaceable.

As the months passed, our preparation led us to another step: the selling of our house. Many have seen this as foolish but for us it was a lightening of our load we never anticipated. Part of the American Dream is to own a home. This is not a bad thing, but for us the home was a huge idol for us. We spent more time upgrading, manicuring and upkeep, which led to less time for relationships and serving. Selling our home of 13 years was an extremely freeing moment. We became completely untethered, able to go wherever God led us. What an awesome moment for both of us to be able to serve at a moments notice. So in September 2013 we became homeless.

Sadly, through all this preparation we did take a misstep and began to plan. We moved into a home with a lovely family, which I think they are still recovering from us. I've learned that our children are being raised as wild animals at times and I may need to actually step up a little on my structure of their behavior. I'm just joking, they are great, but we all act like a bunch of kids sometimes. We had a lot of fun the 3 months we lived with them, but it was during this decision we went ahead of God.

If you hadn't noticed this blog went silent for awhile. It wasn't until now that I was able to sit and write as I look back and see what has been of God and what has been our desires. I finally was able to realize what has happened through this Christmas holiday and this is the analogy I've come up with. I want you to imagine you have been given a present that you completely desire. For us, this present was to serve the Lord full-time in Zambia. We had prayed for God to show us how we fit into this picture and how He would use us. He did just that, but in the showing He never said exactly when; He just said prepare. So now pretend that this present sits on your table day in and day out. You look at it as a reminder of the plans He has for you but just like all of us, after awhile we want to just shake that box a little. For us, in the box is our departure date; I imagine it's the plane tickets, seat assignments and everything.

Well, we started shaking the box a little, then a little more. Everything looked like it was all in place for us to launch. Changes within the ministry showed us, undoubtedly, we were needed. A house in Zambia already furnished opened up for us. Fundraising was going well and so we set a date to depart. Huge mistake. We allowed the needs of the ministry to overshadow God's timing. Filling those needs are not wrong, but putting it before God's direction is not right. All of a sudden, we were leading the path and not letting the Lord lead us, thinking our ways were also God's. Not so.

We did set a date for the week of December 9th and we found God has a sense of humor. We saw that as we drew closer to that date, it was not going to occur. We realized that we went from "Preparation Mode" to "Planning Mode" something we were not asked to do. The week of December 9th we actually did move but not to where we expected. After living with the amazing Bell family, we realized it was time to move into a small apartment to readjust onto the path God sent us on and not our own. So we did move...

I love how God works with us, even when we take a misstep; He guides us back. With a loving hand, He picks us up, wipes our tears away and says let's start again. So 2013 ended with a new command from God, WAIT.

Waiting is hard. I am far from the picture of patience, but sitting still is essential to being led by the Lord. This lesson is also essential in the mission field. Our western tendencies are to act; many of us do that before thinking. As we prepare to live among a different culture, sitting still and watching is going to be an important portion of that ministry. We must learn to do that at home so we can do that in Zambia.

Now as we look toward 2014, God has asked us to continue serving at home with Every Orphan's Hope. I will return to my former position as Program Manager for Missions and will also begin learning the Sponsorship side of the ministry as the Sponsorship Coordinator will be on leave in June/July. Peter will also continue to learn about the aspects of the ministry and will use his talents to participate as needed. Our blogging and newsletter will be reflecting less on our journey for awhile and will focus more on the ministry.

So we have completed our year of preparation and we begin 2014 with waiting. Quite a different journey we are entering upon still encompassing dependence upon our Lord and an air of excitement, as we do not know what we will encounter each day but to do His will.

May we also encourage you to find moments to be still in God and seek His desires for you, too.

New Creation

It's funny how when one looks back over their lives they can see change within themselves and others. Sometimes this transformation is good, other times not so much.

Over these last few weeks, Peter and I have had many conversations as to who we used to be and how we have been transformed by God. It's not that we were awful; we lived as "good" people and tried to do the best we could. All that trying was for ourselves though, for appearance' sake or to show how we compared to others. Looking at ourselves through God's eyes and seeing the new creation He has made  in us, we are thankful for who He is and how we have developed servant hearts for Him.

When Peter prepared to leave for Zambia two weeks ago, we found ourselves in another one of these conversations. We are embarking upon a new chapter in our lives that has little to do with us and everything to do with showing God the glory. I found myself sharing with Peter my feelings toward him and by the end of the conversation knew I also needed to share it with you.

Peter and I have been together for 20 years and met in college so we've seen many changes in each other's lives. We have had our rocky moments in our marriage and also wonderful ones. We have experienced monetary wealth and the lack of it, death of family members, divorce of friends and loved ones, and those arguments that you would never share with another. Each of these experiences has brought us closer together and created a bond between us that could not be replaced with another. We thought we couldn't get any better than what we had.

We had no idea that when we both accepted to walk together with God as our Lord and to commit our lives to Him that we could actually have a different marriage. We always trusted each other in our marriage and never have given the other a reason not to; but the trust that God created between us is unexplainable. I know that I can trust Peter with anything–and I mean absolutely anything–not because he's my husband or my friend, and not because he did anything to gain that trust, because I'm sure there are times he's disappointed me as I have him. Undoubtedly, we will also disappoint each other in the future, too. But over these last few years, I have seen a man grow to love the Lord more than he loves me and it's that aspect that allows me to completely give myself to him. 

Some of you reading this may have found that last comment quite odd, but knowing he loves God more than me lets me know that Peter will never lead me where God doesn't want me to go. If he is putting God first in his life before my desires, then whatever my course, it will always be with God. It may not always be the path of least resistance but through circumstances, my faith in God and my love for Peter have grown.

When I first met Peter, I just thought he was cute. He made me laugh which is something that is sometimes difficult to do; he still makes me laugh. There are times in our relationship that I have loved him and other times that I thought I might smack him upside the head! (I'm sure he feels the same about me even though he may not say it.) 

Now when I look at him, there is something completely different. I see a man that I respect, a man I trust and one I completely love no matter his faults. Not because he is perfect, far from it. It's because when I see him, he is striving to continually look straight at God. Even when he falls down, he is there with God asking for guidance and forgiveness. That's really all I need.

A few friends have said that they admire our leap of faith; it's not to be admired. If we took our focus off God for even a moment, we would probably fall to pieces. Some think it's nuts that we are doing this  as we have always been planners; sometimes we agree with them that it does appear crazy. 

But when we look to God's word and His promises, it's absolutely logical what we are doing. When we look back on our lives and no longer say, "I achieved this on my own doing" and actually see the places where God has led us on the path that we are now, we can see that we never had a plan but have been working straight toward His. The only difference is now we say, "Yes, Lord. We trust you." 

We pray that each of you will grow in your faith to say, "Yes, Lord. I trust you" in whatever path He is leading you. Whether it is for you to serve a neighbor across the street, serve the homeless or even move overseas to serve orphans and widows or preach the gospel.

Has God transformed your life? Can you look back and see His prints all over your path? 

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old is gone, the new is here!"

This Isn't Easy

It's been awhile since we've last blogged; it's almost impossible to find even a moment to sit down and write. Packing up our home was an adventure in itself. How many times have you pulled out that random item from a drawer and said, "What does that go to?" If you're like me, the immediate answer would be, "I'll figure it out later," and then you throw it back in. Well, later finally came and our choices were to figure it out, give it away or determine if it was useless and throw it away. Sadly, some items didn't make it into storage.

On our last day in the house, Peter had to go fly a trip and I had to do a walk-through with the new owner. Our friend and realtor came to help me and upon realizing I had a few last minute items to get out of the garage and attic, he offered to lend a hand. As I'm up in the attic, I called down, "Hey Derrek! Grab this bumper will you!" Yes, we actually had a Mazda Miata bumper in our attic. I still don't know why, that's only a question Peter can answer. We had a few odd items to say the least.

But our house sold, we moved all the items we were keeping into storage for the shipping container and took just the basics to our new home, the Bell's house. What a blessing they have been! Offering to take us in as we weren't even sure where we were going to go while we tried to wrap up fundraising. Living now in a house of 8 can seem a bit hectic, but their willingness to accept us into their home has made the first of many transitions into the life of missionaries quite easy to tell the truth.

Whoa!!! Isn't the title to this blog "This Isn't Easy"? You are probably thinking that selling your home, moving in with friends and trying to morph into this missionary family is anything but easy. You're right, but you're wrong.

We've actually been finding out that those were the easy parts. It wasn't fun selling our house, but compared to now, that was a cake walk. We have this giant gorilla in the room every time we talk to dearly loved ones in our family. It's becoming difficult. We all know we are on the cusp of departing and the final step is attaining just "enough" funds to have our basic needs met in Zambia.

It's so hard to even begin to express this gorilla that likes to sit at our table. Some of us in the family are able to talk about it better than others, but for the most part it's that unbearable silence where no one knows what to say.

These last few weeks, I have been reminded in either the girl's Bible curriculum or in my own devotionals about Abraham and Moses. I don't know about you, but when I look at our patriarchs, they enter onto a pedestal so high that I forget they were human. Thankfully, the Lord has reminded me over the last few weeks that they are not superhuman after all.

I've found myself wondering what it must have felt like when Abraham was asked to leave his home and extended family and go to a land that he didn't know. How did he say goodbye to his parents or any siblings he had? Did they think he was crazy for following God in such a way that they couldn't comprehend?

Or Moses, he sees the burning bush that doesn't burn and then it talks to him. Once he hears that God is asking him to go back to Egypt, he doesn't jump up and down and say "awesome!" but he argues with God. Now that's me! I'm thankful to know that there are people in the Bible that have to be told multiple times to do something and still they wrestle with the way God wants them to do it. It gives me peace to know that I'm not the only stubborn person in this world.

We saw our oldest daughter, Danielle, this past weekend. When we drove up to Missouri for our visit, there was already a stress in the car. It was not going to be a fun visit; the gorilla was there the whole time. If you have older children that have moved out of the house, you may still have a few of their items in your home. We definitely did and it was time to hand them over. It was fun for her to see many of her old items again and watch her walk out in her monkey slippers; but the reason she had to receive them was not the highlight of our weekend.

Some days we just want to shout, "This wasn't our plans!" Ours were very different and as we are watching tears flow from not only their eyes but our own, all we can say is this isn't easy.... part of you just wants to find a way to make it stop; but then...I am reminded of Moses. (Didn't see that coming, did you?)

My favorite part of the argument as to whether Moses should go to Egypt and confront Pharaoh or not is when he says, "Who am I that I should go?" and God's response is simple, "But I will be with you." That hits me each time I've read it this week. In the moments that my heart has hurt over talking to family and feeling their pain, to hugging my oldest daughter this weekend and not wanting to let go, there has been a peace of the Lord throughout. We have ultimately relied on him to carry us through this. We couldn't have done this any other way.

As we all have this gorilla in our room right now, we are falling upon our Lord and calling out to him for peace. He is such a gracious God for he has provided that gentle whisper each time: "I am with you." And that will be what continues to bring us through these next few months as it will continue to not be easy.

Danielle (center) with Alyson (left) and Brittan (right)

Mother and Daughter

The Glory to Him

About a week ago, I finished a biography about George Muller, an 1800's missionary who provided for orphans in Bristol, England. I was completely inspired by his faith in the Lord's provision. If you don't know his story, during his adult life he cared for thousands of orphans. To sum up how he did this, one simple word: "Prayer." Quoted in the Liverpool Mercury upon his death: "How was this wonder accomplished? Mr. Muller has told the world that it was the result of 'Prayer.' The rationalism of the day (which is still here today) will sneer at this declaration; but the facts remain."

I won't be a complete spoiler if you want to read his story, but his prayer life inspired me. God's provision was always there for him no matter the circumstance. I'm sure there were times that it wasn't as apparent as others but he showed a steadfast faith that caught my admiration.

My prayers changed as soon as I read his story. Instead of saying, "God, IF you want this please send supporters"; I changed to "God, you have lead us on this path and I trust you completely. We know you will provide. Please grow my faith in your promised provisions. Help me be steadfast just as George Muller."

This has become my constant prayer and it is one that will only show glory and not anything that I did. This is what I long to see. In my rational mind, I don't know how He provides, but I know He does and I know He will.

So fast forward to yesterday. (Does that even make sense?)

God is SO GOOD! That sums it up. He placed someone in my path yesterday that I had never met before and vice versa. We just started talking about our girls in their gymnastics classes. I was content to have that conversation and leave it at that, but God had other plans. It started simple; I shared how He led us to home school the girls. No big deal.

Then, He just laid it on my heart, so simple: "Tell her what I have called your family to do."

My response might surprise you: "REALLY! Can't I just be a 'normal' person for once?" When I say "normal," what I really mean is to be worldly minded and not heavenly minded at that moment. Those of you that know me; well, you know what I did. I started my internal arguing with God. It went something like this:

Can't I just sit here and watch Brittan do her gymnastics?
I mean really, this lady doesn't want to know about this.
To tell the truth, God, I just don't feel like it today. I'm tired of telling the story; I just want to be.

And so on and so forth I go; but I always lose these arguments and all I can say is, "Thank you God for always winning."

So, it starts with the simplest comment of whenever we look back at our lives, we can see God's fingerprints all over it from why He led us down the path of homeschooling the girls. And it begins...

But here is the amazing thing. It's what she told me in the end. This dear woman looked at me and said:

"I have been praying to God to give me an opportunity to be a good steward with my money. I have a generous heart and want to give for His kingdom." She said she was so glad she sat down and started talking to me because God led her to me. As she and I parted ways, she said "I will be giving to your family to help you serve Him in Zambia. I don't know what it will be, but God will let me know just as He has led me here today."

So can I just say WHOA!

When I told Peter about this, he said, "Both of your prayers collided, can you see it?" I didn't see it that way but he was right. Both of us were praying to God to be obedient in some form. In my case to trust in His provision and in hers to find a way to provide.

So often I have sat there and prayed for things but in the end I would say: "Well, I did this; I put together that; I sent out this; I talked to them...." Do you see a pattern? 

I like to sing it in scale: "me, me, me, me, me, me, me." LOOK AT ME!!! 

We forget so often that we have done very little. God gives us each a path and we choose which one we would like. He's on each path, but some lead us along rockier ground than others. But whatever that path is, we will continue "Choosing His Path."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6 (ESV)

I did originally want to give you all an update to where we are with the house sale and fundraising; but I'm thankful to share God moving.

The quick update is that we are at $790 monthly which is just a bit shy of 10% funded. Our house is under contract and has a closing date of Sept. 19. We will move in with friends as we complete the fundraising process and all that's left is for Peter to give notice to his job. What does that mean? We could be on Zambian ground within 45-60 days.

Is God moving your heart just as He did with the woman that I met this week? We are in need of your partnership and are officially free to leave when we are funded. Were you waiting for precisely this moment before you wanted to give?

Please click on the DONATE button on this blog to give toward our Daily Bread if you would also like to show God's provision to us.

Our True North

Often, we get the question as to why we are willing to serve in Zambia. Is it because of Every Orphan's Hope or the relations we've built with the kids in the My Father's House homes? Or maybe it's just that we're going through some sort of mid-life crisis. (I'm actually saying that politely. I think most people look at us like we are nuts!) And that could be the case. When we had our next set of kids (Alyson and Brittan), everyone thought we were nuts too because as they said, "Danielle is 16 and you're almost free!" But our response was that we didn't have anything else to do and we were too young to have an empty nest; so why not?

So why are we doing this? Our dear friend and founder of Every Orphan's Hope, Gary Schneider, visited us a few days ago as he had returned from Zambia and he asked the same question. It was a simple question, why are you going to Zambia? Now, we could have come up with a whole array of different responses: We love the organization; we can see ourselves doing this; we love the kids; we get to further the kingdom, et cetera and so forth. But in the end as we sat there for a moment and tried to come up with one reason, Peter and I found the one that was at its core: We're being obedient. God has asked us to serve there so we are going. It's that simple. Gary calls that our true north, what we always need to point to when we get off center with the storms that will come as we transition to become full-time missionaries.

Obedience is an interesting process; it's like peeling layers. As Shrek said, "Ogres are like onions, they have layers." The peeling of each layer brings a new sting, some sweet and others sharp. Our newest layer of obedience is the sale of our house. Whoa!

Sorry, I couldn't resist putting him in here explaining how Ogres are like onions to Donkey!

One would think that this was a huge layer, but we actually found that this was one layer of many that has been occurring over the last few years. Ever since we had our first mission trip to Zambia we've simplified each year, not realizing how easy it would make things precisely for this moment.

Now, the actual putting the house on the market was a huge step because it is truly the first step of faith and what a step it has been. It comes with a sweet and sharp sting. The sharp one is obvious, there are memories in each room.

Alyson with Grandma just a few weeks old

I walked through Alyson's room today and remembered the hours Peter and I spent at Barnes and Nobles looking through room décor. I remembered sitting in the rocker in her room after it was complete admiring his handiwork. Then the picture of his mom holding Alyson in the same room rocking her to sleep. It was also in that same rocker that I watched her sleeping peacefully in my arms and realized Peter was right and we needed to have siblings. Hence Brittan came along.

We had to go in to touch up paint in Brittan's room the other day. She's our spirited one! God really has a sense of humor; I think He loves to laugh because she is comedic. If we had stayed in this house much longer, we would have had to repaint the whole room as she may have colored on all the walls or hit something up against them as she is known as "rough and tumble."

Danielle, our oldest, is quick to remind everyone that outside of the master bedroom, she was the first to occupy each room as her own in the house before we had the other two girls. We just kept moving her into the bigger ones. It was a good trade off.

What's interesting though is that it's sweet, too. We were placed in that house through a blessing. When we found the empty lot, the builders didn't even know they owned it. They had already moved out of the neighborhood and we wanted that particular builder. This home happened to be just down the street from our church, Preston Ridge Baptist Church, which is where we started our true obedience to the Lord. His fingerprints are all over that house. It reflects how He has grown throughout our lives for precisely this moment.

The sweetness of selling the house is how freeing it feels. We are able to serve the Lord with complete abandonment. Whether He says right, left or straight ahead, now we can say, "Yes, Lord." We don't have anything holding us down. We are truly portable to be His hands and feet. So Amazing!

Each step in obedience has actually not held us back but opened up a whole new world of opportunities. We are both finding that as we say "yes" there has been something on the other side of that response that is sweeter than ever imagined.

Is there anything you are holding back from saying, "Yes, Lord! Whatever you ask, it's yours"? It may sting a little or a lot, but ultimately it's freeing to give it all to Him. After all, it was all His to begin with and in the end it will be His again.

Please pray for us that we are able to continue to say YES each day as He continues to lead us to serve in Zambia and follow our true north of being obedient to Him.

In addition, please pray for how you can see yourself along with us in this journey. Our house received 4 offers in less than 24 hours, so we will officially be ready to leave in less than 2 months. As our layers continue to peel, do you have a layer in this too? We are still in need of committed partners like you to send us for God's work in Zambia. Can you see yourself peeling a layer and saying, "Yes, Lord, I will send."

Choosing His Path

Occasionally, I get small glimpses of God's character when I'm not looking for them. Traveling home from a trip to speak truth to a loved on, I had one of these moments as I recollect the conversation we had.

I have found myself upon my knees thanking God for His endless grace and mercy and in awe of how much He truly loves us. Before each of us a path is laid for us to choose. We can choose the one of least resistance, although it may require sacrifice, or we can opt for the path that is an endless loop of ups and downs, moments when it appears we have peace until another storm comes to pass.

Personally, I have found myself on each of these paths at various times in my life. When I’ve chosen the loop, it’s almost like a hamster on its exercise wheel, going in circles that end in the same place. God has always had another way for me, for each of us. The way is easy and His load is light, but it always requires something for us to stop the hamster wheel and follow His path.

Based on my season, it has been my pride or my perception of control. Thinking that I can do it myself and don't need the help God has provided me through Himself or others in my path. Other seasons have revealed my desire of accolades and praise, looking at myself to see what I have accomplished, never giving the glory to God in His abundant generosity to allow me to be His servant.

In this season, I find doubt creeping in. It's the little things that cause us to doubt. How will something be accomplished? In our case it can vary from fundraising, packing up all our things, or just deciding what goes with us and what is given away. One can easily be overwhelmed by all the questions and doubt, and if you let it creep in too much, it can paralyze you to not choose the path God has planned for each of us.

God is such a loving Father. He sets a path in front of us to follow His Son or continue our own way. I'm amazed that every time we choose our own way, He is still there waiting for us, just giving us another opportunity to choose His way.

I find myself grateful today. Many times I have gone my own way but He has patiently been there waiting for me, showing me the way down the path of least resistance as I hold His hand and follow His lead. As the Lord has done with me, He does with each of us; so as I watch loved ones remain on their own wheel, I continue to be thankful that He will continue to present His path to them. When we are willing to see the light, submit ourselves to His love for us and see that He loves us more than we could ever imagine, all I can say is “What a gracious God we serve!”

Lord, I thank you for who you are and for all the times you have redirected me when I’ve chosen my own way. I know that as your will lies before me, I will stumble and fall but am thankful that you will be there each step of the way, guiding me as you always have. I pray that I will always to continue to choose your path and not my own. I pray that others choose to see your light and follow you. To see that your way will always provide what they need for that day. Thank you for taking my hand each day, for guiding me and for above all, loving me enough to sacrifice your son Jesus. Amen.

Update: When I first wrote this, I was feeling discouraged. As I saw my own loved one leaning toward the wrong direction, I also found in myself that I was allowing doubt in my heart and questioning why God was leading us along this path, too. I hope you don’t find this unnatural. Many days we are overjoyed by the Lord allowing us to be His instruments and serve Him in Zambia.  But there are days that it is overwhelming and it feels like another layer is being revealed and we need to shed off our old selves to reflect His new creation.

So the following morning this was written. I was reminded of how good God is. I received an unsolicited message from a relative that was so encouraging and a reminder of why we are walking along this path. An hour later, we also received another monthly donor to add to this journey. All I can say is “Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that when I doubt, your hand is on this journey.”

We are still in need of monthly sponsors and hope that you will join us in Zambia by providing for us financially, in addition to your prayers. Our house will officially be on the market in the next week and we are progressing with making our load light to follow when He calls us to leave for Zambia.

If you would like to give toward our daily bread, please click on the “Donate” button on the blog to proceed to the Every Orphan's Hope website.

Repeating Verse in my Head

Yes, you may think I'm talking about a Bible verse, but I actually keep hearing Tom Petty in my head. You heard me right. Tom Petty. And not just any lyrics, but one where he keeps repeating a sound, so I kinda hear a small whine in it. Which actually fits how we may be feeling, too. There's a bit of a silent whine as we too are in this process of waiting.

I don't know about you, but patience has never been my strong suit. As a matter of fact, when I was a teacher of elementary students, that was my constant prayer, to have patients for certain students. Now, if you are one of my former students reading this, then I'm not talking about you, I promise :)

Really, this is no shock. Western society has spoiled us. Yup, said that too. We're spoiled individuals. Every aspect of our society is immediate self-gratification. If I'm hungry and if I have money (and even if I don't but have a credit card) I can get pretty much whatever I want within minutes. It probably won't be healthy but I can satisfy my sense of hunger. And think of Starbucks. I can have coffee at any time of the day, hot or cold, latte or mocha; some of us have even replaced our old fashioned coffee makers for Starbucks because it just doesn't taste the same. Or even better, we have those fancy coffee makers where I can make one perfect cup of any flavor at any time of the day. Is it obvious I like coffee?

So back to Tom Petty and waiting. Once we started praying about serving in Zambia in the fall of 2012, things seemed to move fast. God was quick to confirm that this was what He wanted us to do and then Peter's trip in January made it even more obvious that we both had a place there to serve. Then the next step, after the holidays and telling family we began to purge our house and prepare it for selling. And except for some little odds and ends, we are ready. We could pack up our tent stakes in less than 3 months. As a whole, it seems that things have moved pretty quickly.

Now has come the last phase before we go and that's fundraising, waiting and Tom Petty. I keep hearing him whine it in my head....

Looking to others to help us now financially was not as easy as we expected it to be. We actually have to talk to people, send out letters, remind them that we are in need of their support once they have verbally agreed to commit. We had no idea how slow this process could be.

We are ready to go, have I already said that? We could actually leave in about a month as quick as the houses are selling in our area, but yet, we now sit and wait. Casting Crowns sings a song called "Somewhere in the Middle" and in the chorus it says, "Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender without losing all control. Fearless warriors in a picket fence; Reckless abandoned wrapped in common sense."

That's where I feel we are now. Ready to break down the picket fence and tired of being stuck in common sense. We have to remind ourselves constantly that to just sell it all and go will only sustain us for a year or maybe two, but as we are looking at a life change, that won't work. We need to accept
that we can't do this on our own means.

In a society where we are taught to be self-sufficient and have complete independence, this can be good but also bad. We are having to breakdown everything we've been taught to follow and remember that we can never be completely independent and self-sufficient. It's a fallacy, with one clean swoop it can be here today and gone tomorrow, but God and His character is constant. We are learning to throw off that self-sufficiency and independence and become completely dependent upon God's provision and the Spirit moving others to joining us in the work that He is doing in Zambia.

Abraham and Sarah tend to come to my mind often as I look at the promises God made to them. I think it was about 25 years in between the promise of Abraham's descendants to number the stars and the actual birth of Isaac. I hope we don't have to wait 25 years, but I then am reminded in Hebrews 11 that everything is by faith.

So even though I can hear Tom Petty in my head whining, "It's the waiting that's the hardest part," I also know that by faith we will wait on God's provision of our daily bread.

What about you? By faith, will you also join us in Zambia and help provide our daily bread? We would love to have you walk alongside us as we prepare for Zambia.

Please visit How Can I Help Part II in our blog to find out more.

His Plans becoming Our Plans

For the last two years, Pine Cove Christian Camp has been an integral part of our growth with the Lord. Yesterday, we arrived at family camp and it has already proven to be just as uplifting as it has been in the past.

One of the things we have always loved about Pine Cove is that we get to sit with young adults and share not only our walks with the Lord, but also hear about theirs. Each year, I find that we learn something from the young adults here that have given up their summer to serve families.

Last night, our first night here, I had the opportunity to visit with a young woman whose camp name is "Wigs." As I was sitting on the porch watching the girls swing with a few other friends, she just sat down beside me and said, "So tell me about you." Wow! Where in the world would I start. I tried to do the basics, family, ages, what we do, but that's not really who we are. It was impossible to not share what God has been doing in our family for the last 4 years, so of course I did my best to condense it in as short of a version as possible. She had lots of questions, but eventually a moment came where I could ask about her.

What an amazing story she had! As she shared how all her life she was pursing her plans to be able to financially sustain herself, God laid on her heart that she was to pursue music instead. It wasn't her plans as she always felt that accounting was her route and that music was just an interest she had. Then she said something that I will never forget.

I asked her, "So, after you graduate, what do you plan on doing? Will you teach?"

Her response was so simple. "Well," she said. "Since this wasn't my dream it really doesn't matter. It was His plan for me so I will just follow that plan and see where it leads. If it leads to teaching, great. If not, it doesn't matter as long as I'm following."

Whoa! She essentially said the same thing that our family is working through right now. Here this young lady in her 20s is following the Lord in a way that we are just embarking upon in our 40s. Who knows what she could accomplish for His kingdom with this perspective.

Now, I know what you might be thinking. Well, she's in her 20s, her parents probably support her, doesn't have a family, etc... I can see that way of thinking. But wouldn't it be amazing if we all just took a moment and didn't look at our lives through the perspective of what "I" can accomplish but changed it to what "He" can accomplish. She's not someone who is saying I'm not going to work, what she is saying is that whatever she does, it will be for His Glory and not her own.

Since last week, many of you have read our blog or seen our Facebook announcement and I'm sure there have been mixed reviews. The spectrum ranges from "God is amazing in what He can accomplish!" to the other end of "Have they lost their minds?" In all honesty, we've been on both ends of that spectrum too and anywhere in between.

But what Wigs said spoke the same truth that Peter and I are feeling. Right now, this is where He is leading us and our deepest desire is to follow wherever He leads, wherever or whenever that may be. None of us know tomorrow, but we do have this moment to live each day, wherever we are to further the kingdom through our words, actions and love for others.

What do we know today? We know that God has developed in both of us a servant heart and that heart has been led to serve orphans and widows in Zambia. It would be much easier for us to do this at home, but this isn't what He has led us to. He is growing us, in our marriage, our family and in our faith. He has asked us to meet Him in Zambia to be His instruments and serve Him daily. Wherever that leads, we want to follow. Since it was never our plan, as Wigs said, "It really doesn't matter, we'll just follow His."

If you would like to walk alongside us in prayer or even financial support, please visit our other pages on this blog. We also encourage you to visit the Every Orphan's Hope website to learn more about the ministry we are preparing to join as full-time orphan care missionaries.

Above all, may each of you use this day to reflect the light of Christ in all you do. May God continue to grow each of us for His ultimate glory.

"Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." - I Corinthians 10:31